flood waters
spill onto me
dancing droplets
calmness in the sea.
vines weave through trees
collective conciousness ever breathing
ablazed ember
dancing flame
scorchingly scathing
only char remains
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who am I?

At once I feel whole and anew.
At once I feel like everything that I thought I once knew.
Wholeness.
Its been a feeling that’s been hard to come by when youre scrambling to piece together the crumbles of what you once called your life.
But this is pivotal.
A redo.
A blank slate; tablua rasa; a take-two.
I’m changing,
I’m awaiting
I can only imagine the things I am capable to do
Untethered.
That’s been the theme of my journey.
The single word mantra I’ve chanted to myself whenever I’ve been in a worry.
Manifesting.
It’s a strange thing.
Because it never feels direct.
Just go with the flow and see what life brings you next.
Yet, it seems, all my wishes come true..
But what they don’t tell you is that your wishes dont complete you.

projections

He finally got inside of me.
I became necrotic.
Is that what you call erotic?
Haven’t heard from him since..
Is how I’m feeling neurotic?
Decaying my mind and clinging to lies
But the problem was never me,
It was the lack of depth you had inside

..projections.

2013

I miss you
And the phantoms of the kisses you’ve left on my lips.
And the shadow of all the hand prints
Left from on my body from your grip.
With your lustful touch,
And your gentle fuck,
The ways you made my body swoon;
Ecstatic rifts that filled the room,
floating from the twin sized matress on your floor.
Out through the cracks of the bedroom door.
But before I allowed myself to adore,
As you slept,
I got dressed,
And out I’d sneak once more.

it feels like..

It’s a fight you can only stand up against if you’re ready. Sometimes, you’re not even ready. You sleep on it, fumble with the idea. but you’re just not quite ready to be finished with chasing that thrill. Who is? It never stops feeding some sort of satisfaction, but you’re just quite tired of your actions. you’ve grown quite weary..of the lies. and the apologies.

Change is happening, in a slow, insecure, way. and often change comes just like that, life has shown me. I’ve had to learn that making change often doesn’t feel like paving the way. But more like turning left at the intersection instead of right, and making that a permanent fixture in your journey.