I’m so fucking disgusted.
You are the creator.
Play time is over.
There’s no time to cry.
So build your fucking empire.
Welcome to your new life.
too stressed to rest, I’d realize as I got undressed.
your eyes, never quite impressed but you’ll settle for second best, I guess. forever searching for what’s next to digest the regret that you never actually address.
i watched you almost die so many times.
you’ll never remember how much i cried.
but you recovered through and came back to
and decided that i wasnt good enough for you.
At once I feel whole and anew.
At once I feel like everything that I thought I once knew.
Its been a feeling that’s been hard to come by when youre scrambling to piece together the crumbles of what you once called your life.
But this is pivotal.
A blank slate; tablua rasa; a take-two.
I can only imagine the things I am capable to do
That’s been the theme of my journey.
The single word mantra I’ve chanted to myself whenever I’ve been in a worry.
It’s a strange thing.
Because it never feels direct.
Just go with the flow and see what life brings you next.
Yet, it seems, all my wishes come true..
But what they don’t tell you is that your wishes dont complete you.
He finally got inside of me.
I became necrotic.
Is that what you call erotic?
Haven’t heard from him since..
Is how I’m feeling neurotic?
Decaying my mind and clinging to lies
But the problem was never me,
It was the lack of depth you had inside
I miss you
And the phantoms of the kisses you’ve left on my lips.
And the shadow of all the hand prints
Left from on my body from your grip.
With your lustful touch,
And your gentle fuck,
The ways you made my body swoon;
Ecstatic rifts that filled the room,
floating from the twin sized matress on your floor.
Out through the cracks of the bedroom door.
But before I allowed myself to adore,
As you slept,
I got dressed,
And out I’d sneak once more.