I’ll be waiting for you there
I won’t stop waiting
I’ll be there
I’d leave Mars; I’d do it fast,
But it’s already too late for that.
Angel from the underworld
Devil from paradise
You’ve become my favorite vice.
It casts it’s eye upon us gently and then guides us into infinity
theres a sadness welling inside of me that disguises itself as apathy.
I always remember that I can never truly trust.
every ounce of unabashed love I’ve ever harbored has begun to rust.
I’m covered in dust that I brush off by laughter, but I’m unable to reach the ever-darkening corners in the room that is my consciousness.. that continues to spread as if it were mold. It eats at me gradually, leaving a residual pain accompanied with every fond memory.
is it maniacal laughter or an attempt to stuff away the pain?
Is it silliness or is it an escape?
Hands as soft as the fragility of your ego
You compensate by making every woman whom you encounter feel disposable.
God forbid you actually show yourself
What makes you whole
Or what would feel that hole inside of you
That you desprately try to fill
with women and substances that make you ill.
Lost in the lies
And the spark of your eyes
I failed to realize that you were never the prize
but something of my reprive and I despise the drive that led me to chase
That led me to fantasize
and to waste..
My life on hope
And when I’m finally ready to let go
Ready to be set free
You tip-toe candidly
like the gentle flicker of the flame in my heart that has died down to a kindle
with words, “We were meant to be,”
but with subtext that read
That I glazed over in the bliss of your essence
you finally fed me your attention, gave me your pressence
I’m in HEAVEN!
But not after long would it die down to neglection,
and it took me too long to realize that your love is only an infection.
I was caught in a cycle of give and take
but my heart was never yours to break
and it was my MISTAKE
for letting you in..
when deep down I knew exactly the intentions you held within.
Sometimes when it’s been so long since you’ve loved,
you figure that the highs and lows are similar to a drug,
and its a rite of passage we must all trudge through
to get to that happy ending we were meant to.
I’m over you.
It’s a fight you can only stand up against if you’re ready. Sometimes, you’re not even ready. You sleep on it, fumble with the idea. but you’re just not quite ready to be finished with chasing that thrill. Who is? It never stops feeding some sort of satisfaction, but you’re just quite tired of your actions. you’ve grown quite weary..of the lies. and the apologies.
Change is happening, in a slow, insecure, way. and often change comes just like that, life has shown me. I’ve had to learn that making change often doesn’t feel like paving the way. But more like turning left at the intersection instead of right, and making that a permanent fixture in your journey.
Looking at you as the sun sets
Lust filled eyes and a barrel of regrets.
What I see back isn’t you
But my longing for what’s best.
I. chase. your. eyes.
As they reflect the sun setting west.
hold me tight.
never let go.
suffocate me right–
until my body goes cold.
may your warm bones give me releif
from all of your meticulous mental greif.
Build me a new home
in the deceitful lies you throw.
Kiss me when I try to leave
yet plead for my love on the phone.
call me weak when I weep;
abuse is all I’ve ever known.