no vacancy

is there enough room anywhere?
i’m searching for a home in anyone I know
and honestly that isn’t the way it should go.
trust me.
it doesnt work
and usually hurts
but my fantasies are always ready to create
a life that never existed
but something to excite my mind.
create an escape.
until the escape becomes the source of pain.

is there enough room anywhere?
i’m just looking to be cared for
better yet.. adored
i just want something more.

is there enough room anywhere?
for me.
simply.
to.
be?

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You never left.

too stressed to rest, I’d realize as I got undressed.
your eyes, never quite impressed but you’ll settle for second best, I guess. forever searching for what’s next to digest the regret that you never actually address.

who am I?

At once I feel whole and anew.
At once I feel like everything that I thought I once knew.
Wholeness.
Its been a feeling that’s been hard to come by when youre scrambling to piece together the crumbles of what you once called your life.
But this is pivotal.
A redo.
A blank slate; tablua rasa; a take-two.
I’m changing,
I’m awaiting
I can only imagine the things I am capable to do
Untethered.
That’s been the theme of my journey.
The single word mantra I’ve chanted to myself whenever I’ve been in a worry.
Manifesting.
It’s a strange thing.
Because it never feels direct.
Just go with the flow and see what life brings you next.
Yet, it seems, all my wishes come true..
But what they don’t tell you is that your wishes dont complete you.

projections

He finally got inside of me.
I became necrotic.
Is that what you call erotic?
Haven’t heard from him since..
Is how I’m feeling neurotic?
Decaying my mind and clinging to lies
But the problem was never me,
It was the lack of depth you had inside

..projections.