thought i was depressed,
turns out im just unimpressed.
He finally got inside of me.
I became necrotic.
Is that what you call erotic?
Haven’t heard from him since..
Is how I’m feeling neurotic?
Decaying my mind and clinging to lies
But the problem was never me,
It was the lack of depth you had inside
People youve loved
Can become the easiest to hate;
Grazing along the dim line of the
violitile emotions between love and disgrace.
my soul burns at the mere mention of your name
Increasing passion, the growing rage I feel to extinguish your flame
But it’s almost the same
As the intensity of our rose-colored days
The thought of the likeness drives me insane.
i long for the day when I can ignore your existence.
There is no better relief than indifference
Hands as soft as the fragility of your ego
You compensate by making every woman whom you encounter feel disposable.
God forbid you actually show yourself
What makes you whole
Or what would feel that hole inside of you
That you desprately try to fill
with women and substances that make you ill.
It’s a fight you can only stand up against if you’re ready. Sometimes, you’re not even ready. You sleep on it, fumble with the idea. but you’re just not quite ready to be finished with chasing that thrill. Who is? It never stops feeding some sort of satisfaction, but you’re just quite tired of your actions. you’ve grown quite weary..of the lies. and the apologies.
Change is happening, in a slow, insecure, way. and often change comes just like that, life has shown me. I’ve had to learn that making change often doesn’t feel like paving the way. But more like turning left at the intersection instead of right, and making that a permanent fixture in your journey.