mort.

i watched you almost die so many times.
you’ll never remember how much i cried.
but you recovered through and came back to
and decided that i wasnt good enough for you.

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projections

He finally got inside of me.
I became necrotic.
Is that what you call erotic?
Haven’t heard from him since..
Is how I’m feeling neurotic?
Decaying my mind and clinging to lies
But the problem was never me,
It was the lack of depth you had inside

..projections.

release me

People youve loved
Can become the easiest to hate;
Grazing along the dim line of the

violitile emotions between love and disgrace.
my soul burns at the mere mention of your name
Increasing passion, the growing rage I feel to extinguish your flame
But it’s almost the same
As the intensity of our rose-colored days
The thought of the likeness drives me insane.

Oh i long for the day when I can ignore your existence.
There is no better relief than indifference

bursting

theres a sadness welling inside of me that disguises itself as apathy.
I always remember that I can never truly trust.
every ounce of unabashed love I’ve ever harbored has begun to rust.
I’m covered in dust that I brush off by laughter, but I’m unable to reach the ever-darkening corners in the room that is my consciousness.. that continues to spread as if it were mold. It eats at me gradually, leaving a residual pain accompanied with every fond memory.
is it maniacal laughter or an attempt to stuff away the pain?
Is it silliness or is it an escape?

numbing

Hands as soft as the fragility of your ego
You compensate by making every woman whom you encounter feel disposable.
Erasable
God forbid you actually show yourself
your goals.
What makes you whole
Or what would feel that hole inside of you
That you desprately try to fill
with women and substances that make you ill.

(un)mesmerized

Lost in the lies
And the spark of your eyes
I failed to realize that you were never the prize
but something of my reprive and I despise the drive that led me to chase
That led me to fantasize
and to waste..
My life on hope

And when I’m finally ready to let go
Ready to be set free
You tip-toe candidly
like the gentle flicker of the flame in my heart that has died down to a kindle
with words, “We were meant to be,”
but with subtext that read
“Only momentarily…”
That I glazed over in the bliss of your essence
you finally fed me your attention, gave me your pressence
I’m in HEAVEN!
But not after long would it die down to neglection,
and it took me too long to realize that your love is only an infection.

I was caught in a cycle of give and take
but my heart was never yours to break
and it was my MISTAKE
for letting you in..
when deep down I knew exactly the intentions you held within.

Sometimes when it’s been so long since you’ve loved,
you figure that the highs and lows are similar to a drug,
and its a rite of passage we must all trudge through
to get to that happy ending we were meant to.
But alas,

I’m over you.